Roller Coaster

The "Roller Coaster" that my dad refers to below hasn't stopped. Jason is doing an amazing job of trying to fill a lot of roles right now but it obviously has left him exhausted. My recovery is slow, frustrating, and really confusing for me as I try to piece together what has happened to me and how to go from here. My energy and eye sight still make really little basic things very difficult. For now I am going to post this email written by my Dad back on 11/17/09. I realize that it is a bit out of sync but thought I'd post it anyway. He did a nice job of giving a few details of what was going on at that time.

11/17/09
ROLLER Coaster

I visited with Courtney yesterday afternoon. She had just completed the journey from her bed to the bathroom and back with Jason's help and was completely wiped out. In good spirits but very weak. The night before I had visited with her and she talked a lot and laughed and we had a really good visit. After the "step backwards" that Jason wrote about, she was considerably weakened. Pain does that.
Courtney still has areas of numbness on her head near her eyes, down her right arm and two smallest fingers, portions of her right leg and toes. The pain in her eye is subsiding but she is still very sensitive to light and so the lights are dimmed in her room. She suffers chronic vertigo when she is upright. There is a chance this will not go away for some time.
Yesterday she asked me to sing to her, so I picked up Jason's guitar (all the comforts of home) and played and sang 3 or 4 songs. It made her smile. We know Courtney is there because she sang along with me some of the time, harmonizing softly.
Logan, Caden and Ashlynn are settling in to routines at our house. Kaaren is exhausted some of the time, but you know what to expect from her - lots of creativite activities and fun. Ashlynn is being a doll - pretty and perky and happy, even at meal times. Logan and Caden playing with toys, setting up my train set that my mother gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago, and bringing homework assignments, picture day instructions, taking the bus to and from our house, etc. The hard times are when Jason comes by and they remember and miss Jason and their Mom. Of course, they don't really have a concept yet of the degree of incapacity that Courtney is going through during her recovery so we have much adjustment to go through in the next few weeks. I sing the kids to sleep each night. We had home evening last night with a song and prayer and game and treat. The game was dancing to my piano music as I change styles and stop suddenly and start again. They had fun. I am really liking having them around, snuggling with them at reading time.
I haven't seen Jocelyn since the weekend before Courtney's surgery but understand Tracy is managing ok with her. She is in good hands.
Jason is not getting good sleep and is carrying a huge emotional and physical load. He needs a rest and probably won't get one for a few days.